Match Report

Dronfield Town Reserves (2) v Derby Ams (2)

Date: 15/09/07
Team: 1sts
Match Type: League
Venue: Away
Opposition: Dronfield Town Reserves

To all my loyal, adoring, caring fans,
This is the latest match report of the mighty Ams
What follows are the true happenings
Of total football, tactical genius and all things
So sit back, enjoy and relax
As butterfingers tells you the facts.

We arrived at the ground and for the first time this season we had no subs, but without Grant the fitness levels of the team were as high as they could’ve been. Let me talk about Grant for a minute. The guy has been playing well all season but after one bad game he dropped himself to the seconds. I have checked and he now holds a Guinness World record, officially making him the biggest b*tch in the world.

So the team pretty much spoke for itself, if you were there you were playing (We did try and drop Dibbsy still though). Swainrichard being the utility man acted as sweeper, thanks to a long term injury to current sweeper Ads Morris (and I do mean thanks), Derbyshire and Bradders picking up the men (common for someone named Derbyshire, I know). Tweddle-dee and beer Belly as wingers with the three stooges, Border Colley, I like-o to Singo and Debbie Magee in the middle of the park with Tim - hands on head – Broughton, and James - yes ill come out to Nott’s for a night out but actually won’t – Whittaker completing the mighty Ams team.

The match got underway and we didn’t have a sniff (excuse the pun) in the first ten minutes. They kept the ball well worked the midfield and defence and kept possession. So it wasn’t long before they opened their account for the day.

Their striker had his back to goal, passed the ball out wide to his winger and with a little, and I mean a little, bit of movement the ball was played over the top of the defence and put him through one-on-one with our keeper. He made no mistake and dispatched promptly into the corner of the net. 0-1.

It was our worst start to a match this season and with no subs the only way we could improve was for individuals to improve. Fortunately we did. Not long after we had levelled through Tim Broughton. Some clever footwork by Gavin Magee put Tim through one-on-one under challenge by a rushing defender. The ball was duly dispatched, chipping the keeper but Tim took a knock in doing so. After much deliberation the dubious goals commission awarded Tim the strike and not an own goal. 1-1.

The rest of the half was a midfield battle that neither team lost with some quite tasty challenges being thrown around, most notably to our captain and saviour Alan Colley. Andy Singleton is worth a mention, as he quietly went about his job in an effective way with the minimal of fuss or, amazingly for a midfielder in our team, whining.

Half time came and was a complete contrast to last week’s bitch-fest. It was led by Adam Norris who in a very calming, soothing, hypnotic way took us to one side and told us what we were doing wrong and how we could mend it. It was nice.

The second half began and with the wind now in our face it forced us to play football the way it should be played, on the floor with short sharp passes and movement off the ball and not the long ball game that we seem to have adopted this season when playing with the wind in our favour. We had the better of the play in the second half creating the better chances that would have seen us steamroll over lesser opposition but credit to Dronfield as they stuck at their game plan.

It was Dronfield who were next to break the seal of the sacred goal posts with what can only be described as an unbelievable strike that would have seen three keepers; a brick wall and a Russian linesman concede a goal. The ball fell to him following a challenge for which he kicked the ball from thirty yards flew over our keeper at full stretch and into the top corner putting them in the driver’s seat once more. 1-2.

We had a few half chances come our way, but none were converted until Gerry Magee later equaliser. The ball was worked wide to Derek Tweddle (who very rarely gets a mention in these reports), he played a short ball in to John Whittaker who was in on goal. Unselfishly he squared the ball to Gilbert Magee who only had to side foot the ball into open net. In recent weeks I may have been too hard on Gunther Magee and in his ability to score one-on-one’s. He has obviously taken my words on board and resulted in a goal. 2-2.

With this, Robert Swain gets a special mention as, in the changing rooms before the match he told Glen Magee that he wanted a goal and a man of the match performance from him for which he replied in the second best way possible and actually doing it.

The match wasn’t quite over. They still had time for one last gasp effort. After confusion from a corner the ball fell at the feet of one of their players, he had the whole goal to aim at, struck the ball for which he wouldn’t have been blamed if he had thought it would have won the match for his team. But the score ended 2-2.

Confused?

This means that someone must have pulled of a near point blank save to deny them a winning goal. This someone may also have received a text message from his manager saying, and I quote ‘awesome save sat mate saved us big time’. This same someone may still have that text message on his phone and is willing to show anyone who wants proof of the message. That someone was me. I saved us. It was the Butterfingers show! I was running back into my goal to cover it. He had shot into the area I had just run past, only for me to switch body position in the blink of an eye and tip the ball wide.

BONK of the Match – Robin Derbyshire – in the second half when under the cosh, he swung with his left boot to clear but didn’t connect, he then had another effort this time with his right foot and again didn’t connect. It’s a shame he didn’t have a third foot or I didn’t have a camcorder????

Man of the match – Gary Macfee. Ran the show from midfield and scored. All-round dominance when the ball was on the floor. The next Adam Blackburn.