Match Report

Derby Ams (2) v Heanor Colliers (2)

Date: 20/10/07
Team: 1sts
Match Type: League
Venue: Home
Opposition: Heanor Colliers

Hello sport fans. In the same week that saw the England football team all but exit the Euro 2008 tournament, a British race car driver throw away his championship and the England rugby team lose in the final of the rugby world cup, things weren’t going to plan on the sporting front, so we were going to try and put things right again and mend the sporting karma. Today’s opponents were Heanor Colliers, a team who we had played, and beaten, only last week.

For the first time in a long time Swainey had real selection problems in who to start with the advice of never change a winning team ringing in his ears, but with forced alterations to make in the absence of missing Bradders due to injury and Colley due to him being a massive girl, the Swain rotation system would now have to work in abundance to get the desired result.

Jolley made his first back-to-back appearances and started as sweeper. He had to try and control Richard – stupid face – Derbyshire and Carl – the air force won’t have me – Whittaker who were making their first appearance together this season. In midfield was the tantalising trio of Richard – Laurel and Mardy – Swain, Gary – fatboy – Magee and the Singo making their fourth start together in five games. Pete – the mute – Butler and Kelvin – the one hour step over – Rampton playing out on the right and left wings respectively. Sam Marshall and James Whittaker started upfront again for the third game running after impressing again last week.

The match got underway and we had to keep to our game plan which was to split their defence as wide as possible and make them play it down the middle of the pitch. This meant that for the first twenty minutes Marshall was forced to track a winger which didn’t give us an out ball.

Things changed from bad to worse for the mighty Ams when an opposing player tackled James, in his attempt to win the ball back he was jostling with the player who had hold of his man only thing, the opposing player was forced to the ground and James then appeared to ‘stamp’ on his leg to which the referee gave him a straight red card for leaving us with ten men.

It was backs against the wall time. Not long after they had forced a decent save from our keeper. The ball fell kind to an opposing midfield player to which he struck from just outside the box with a determined drive that would have resulted in a goal if it wasn’t for our keeper making a fine diving one handed save low to his right, keeping the score level and us in the game.

The deadlock was soon broken when a smart pass was threaded through the defence and into the path of their striker who came bearing down on goal with Dibbsy trailing him like a pony at the Grand National, to which he slotted home into the side netting. 0-1.

In a cruel twist of fate this seemed to rally us, or at least Butler who levelled the score with what the tabloids are calling a gem of a goal! The ball got broken up from an attack and found itself bouncing towards Butler on the right wing to which he volleyed the ball back across goal, over the keeper to see it dip/swerve/bend under the cross bar and into the netting. This goal was made better when you take into consideration the fact that the opposing goalkeeper was eighteen feet tall. 1-1.

The rest of the first half was seen out as a stale mate with little in the way of chances being created at either end with both defences being resolute and sticking to their jobs well.

In the break at half time, we all knew that we were playing well and to be in this game was an achievement in itself. But not wanting to settle for a draw Swain had invoked the ghost of the water bottler (it is the ghost of a man who had died playing for Derbyshire Amateurs who in his final breath had defended the ball from crossing his own goal line with his hand in the last minute of the prestigious Old Firm Derby Cup, thus giving away a penalty which was converted meaning Ams had lost, and his soul will never been able to rest until he corrects the wrongs he made), the ghost advised him on what Swains tactics should be and what was needed to get the result.

The second half began in pretty much the way the first had ended with them on top. I don’t know what was said in their camp at half time but the team that we played last week and thus far today, seemed to turn into what can only be described as complete tossers with them resorting to numerous bad challenges, one that had left Gaz Magee with a shin pad snapped in two, another that saw Jolley assaulted from behind after he had played the ball and for their short, small man syndrome, midfielder, even spit out at the Singo.

Anyway back to the game. It was not long before we had gone behind again. A high ball that wasn’t dealt with saw their smallest player out jump the defence and head into the top corner of our goal. 1-2.

Half way through the second half, substitutions were made with Ads Morris coming on as sweeper and Jolley moving into midfield, Swain replaced Derbyshire as defender who made way for Twedds.

With the game becoming more and more of a midfield battle we were marginally ahead with the Singo having his best game in an Ams shirt this season and Gary always willing to get hold of the ball to alleviate pressure. Ten minutes from time we had pulled ourselves level again with Jolley claiming his first of the season.

After battling with one of their players he was forced to the right touchline, he put the ball back across goal to the far post only to see it hit the post and go in. Picture if you will Ronaldihno’s free-kick for Brazil against David Seaman in the 2002 World Cup. Did he mean it or was it a fluke, either way the goal stud. 2-2.

They still had time to put pressure on us before the game had closed out with them shooting twice late on, both shots being put on target via way of deflection to which the keeper held onto both times.

People worth mentioning are the Singo who won nearly every header against their tall defender and must now be first choice midfielder, Sam Marshall who had a frustrated game and did more than his fair share of work without having the ball and Carl Whittaker and Richard Derbyshire who for their first game together this season came up against a very strong team that will test anyone they play. Also Swain and Magee who are consistently putting in decent performances in midfield.

That’s ten games without loss but with another cup game coming up this week and then no games until December our winter break may have come at a bad time.

Man of the Match – Mike Jolley – won everything that came to him in the air, didn’t misplace a single pass all game, won every challenge he entered. As close to a perfect game as you can get. All this as well as having Carl and Dibbsy beside him.

BONK of the match – Dave Tweddle – late in the second half successfully turned his man on the edge of the box near the by line and prepared to whip in a dangerous cross to the back post where we had men waiting to attack it. One problem… the ball had gone out about three minutes ago through the legs of Twedds. Did anyone order a taxi???

Article by Butters