Match Report

Derby Ams (0) v Willington FC (1)

	Player	Rating
1	Adam Blackburn	8
2	Ady Colley	9
4	Richard Swain	8
5	Richard Mellon	9
6	Andrew Singleton	8
8	Mark Jebbett	8
9	Grant Strickson	8
11	Sam Marshall	8
12	James Derbyshire

Date: 09/02/08
Team: 1sts
Match Type: League
Venue: Home
Opposition: Willington FC

Hello sports fans. It has been over a month since we last spoke. A lot has happened in the World since then, you can read about it in my one week long feature called ‘People do the Funniest Things’. Two men from Texas, trying to trace a loaded .357-caliber Magnum as a pattern for a tattoo accidentally shot themselves, one in the hand and the other in the left arm. After being charged £20 for a £10 overdraft, a 30-year-old man from Leeds changed his name by deed poll to "Yorkshire Bank PLC Are Fascist Ba****ds". The bank has now asked him to close his account, and Mr. Bastards has asked them to repay the 69p balance, by cheque, made out in his new name. And finally, an Australian prison guard held hostage for two days was released after a ransom demand for pizzas was met – this probably explains where Grant was last Saturday between the hours of two and five

For a twist this week I’ve found a website that gives anagrams of words/names. See if you can work out who the players are from the anagram of their name, where available, it is something relevant to their persona (isn’t it strange that the word anagram can’t be rearranged to spell any other words???). Starting line up as ‘random chiller’ as sweeper, with ‘a icy loner lad’ and ‘magic rollers’ as man markers. In midfield we opted with ‘slating renowned,’ ‘I arch inwards’ and ‘matt ebb jerk’. On the left wing we had ‘added twelve’ and on the right ‘a small marsh’. Upfront we had ‘jerk awaits them’ and ‘king tart scorns’. On the bench we had the ever dependable ‘plank oven trim’ and ‘hierarchy redbirds.’

The changing room earned its name pre-match, as it was the place that we all got changed in. Also we as persons changed in a revolutionary team talk that involved clever consultation and input from sweeper Rich and the Swain-myster. Someone small also went with them but no one quite understands why or what he was doing???

The match kicked off and immediately we could see why they were top of the league. They kept the ball working our midfield from left to right and then left again with all their players being comfortable on the ball. We knew we would have to be on top of our game if we were to outmatch them today.

It wasn’t long before our keeper was forced to show why Sky Sports are saying he has been our most consistent player this season. A free kick was awarded after a terrible dive from their striker, the first player ran over the ball leaving the second player to bend a shot into the bottom left hand corner. Our keeper got down quicker than Dibbsys mum on a weekend and palmed the ball away for a corner (the best save of the game).

Half way through the first half Sam had got the better of his man and delivered a left footed ball (the pass of the game), pin point in to Granty, who controlled the ball on his chest (control of the game) only to be challenged as he was pulling his foot back to shoot. Converting this chance would have really changed the game, it is just a shame that it fell to our unshaven, useless, whore of a forward (the miss of the game).

Five minutes later our keeper was called upon again to keep the scores level. Their striker was passed the ball, took it in his stride and unleashed a power-volley from twenty-five yards that bounced in front of Butters and was sailing into the side netting only to see him scramble across his goal and push the ball wide (the best save of the game) low to his right hand side.

The resulting corner came to nothing and the rest of the half was seen out with neither side letting the other having another shot at target.

Swain and sweeper Rich sat us down at half time and pointed out in the first half we had worked hard to be in the game still and now we had the chance to pit ourselves against the best in the league.

The second half was a Scooby’s nephew affair with Willington probable edging it on possession and shots at goal. The referee, who in the first half got every decision correct, now proceeded to do exactly the opposite and get every decision incorrect, leaving both teams appealing for every throw, corner or foul contested. This made for tense times, as at any moment you could have been bludgeoned to the ground and inadvertently given away a free-kick.

Twenty minutes from time their striker had come through one-on-one and at close range struck fiercely at goal only to be denied from our keeper once again, who managed to hold onto the ball as well (for the best save of the game). This keeper was determined not to be beaten by a Willington player today!

This would be the case, as with only five minutes left and the clock dwindling down, a goal now would decide the victor. We scored it… but in the wrong end. A simple throw played to the feet of their right winger saw him with his first touch spin his man and with his second put sweeper Rich in, leaving him with the simple task of side-footing the ball into the open net. 0-1.

This weeks special mentions go to: -

Grant Strickson who had his best game for a long time, didn’t score but did everything else at his disposal,
Sam Marshall who headed the ball and also had a good game, and
Craig Mellors who only played his second game of the season for us but brought quality in at defence.

BONK of the match – James Whittaker – in the second half a floated ball landed onto his right foot, but instead of striking through the ball he put the kind of top spin on it that Ronnie O’Sullivan would have been proud of.

Man of the match – Ady Colley – played well for us today. All this, whilst having the pressure of choosing his GCSE’s for next year.