Match Report
Derby Ams (3) v Swanwick Pentrich Road (0)
| Player | Rating | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Adam Blackburn | 8 | |
| 2 | James Derbyshire | 8 | |
| 3 | Richard Swain | 9 | |
| 4 | Richard Mellon | 8 | |
| 6 | Andrew Singleton | 8 | |
| 7 | Michael Butler | 7 | |
| 8 | Ady Colley | 9 | |
| 11 | Grant Strickson | 9 |  |
| 13 | Darren Hanstock | 6 | |
| 14 | Elliot Clay | 6 |
Date: 23/08/08
Team: 1sts
Match Type: League
Venue: Home
Opposition: Swanwick Pentrich Road
Due to an ever increasing injury list a formation change was placed upon us meaning we were to play a 4-1-4-1. In defence we had the new partnership of the two Dicks. Dick Swain and Dick Mellon, who on paper should form a good partnership because they actually live with each other. Left back was Mark bearing fresh cuts from his face due to a tiger incident and right back was two heads who actually doesn’t have two heads. In the holding role in midfield we had the Singo (fresh from his time out of jail for committing crimes and stuff). In front of the convict were Ady and James (who is Adys older, wiser brother). On the left flank was King Kelvin (so called because of his love for Elvis Pressley) and on the right Butler (so called because he looks like Jeeves off of askjeeves.com. Upfront was Grant (so called because somebody once gave him a lot of money). On the bench was Two Footed Daz (so called because he can accurately estimate twenty-four inches without the use of any measuring instrument), Elliot Clay (so called because he was conceived in an oven) and Aidan (who is rubbish at ‘Pro‘).
The first half, the first minute and our keeper had already kept us in the game after the ball had worked its way into the box and onto the foot of a Swanwick striker who struck well only to be denied by the frame of our keeper who kept the ball and parried to a Ams player, but we had started very much on the back foot.
It wasn’t long after that our keeper had made another good stop to once again keep us in the game. A Swanwick striker daringly ventured through one-on-one with Butters and shot early and low across the keeper but was kept out again by the frame of our last man but atb this point our most important man. This was to be the start of a very defensively fought half.
Chance after chance kept falling for the opposition but again and again the defense and keeper were resilient and maintained the level scores. The look of relief on the faces of the Mighty Ams was comparable to that of the children of Taiwan after Gary Glitter was removed from their country as the official blew for the first forty five minutes to come to a welcome end.
At half time Dave made a few changes, replacing Kelvin with Aidan and changing us into a more 4-4-2 discipline. This proved to be a brushing of the hand over ones body from Einstein. If managers were paid for their tactical awareness in sun-tan lotion Dave would be factor a million, if they were paid in puppies for their ability to make the decisions that count, Dave would have 101 Dalmations, All Dogs go to Heaven and Lady and the Tramp all waiting at home for their master. Basically put, he proved to get it right.
Second half and it was like a new team had stepped onto the pitch. Passing football, flowing movement and a desire to right the wrongs of the first half. The likes of the Singo and Swainey kept getting hold of the ball and not loosing possession whilst Sweeper Rich distributed long and short always finding the intended target. Dibbsy just kept out of the way.
The only time we lost possession and gave it away in a bad part of the pitch it nearly cost us. The ball was lost just inside out half and the player went on a run, playing a one-two with his winger bearing down on goal he hit the ball flying into the top left hand corner of the goal only being denied by the crossbar sending the ball over and out.
The ball broke free down the right to which Grant hurriedly ran over to collect, turned his man and delivered an inch purfect ball to Aidan who had wandered into the box, who struck through the ball and sending it thumping in the bottom corner. By that I meant he dragged his heels, somehow hitting the ball with his ankle and the keeper was sent in the direction the ball should have gone but didn’t and the ball trickled in. 1-0.
The second half wasn’t without more Swanwick chances though. They struck the woodwork twice in attempts the claw themselves back into the match and on each occasion were unlucky with it. After a diagonal ball split the defense, our keeper hesitated and their striker had a freeheader just outside the six, he headed towards goal for our keeper to get the faintest of touches on it, hitting the cross bar and bouncing straight onto the shoulder of Swain diverted the ball out for a corner from in front of goal. On the other occasion Sweeper Rich seemed insistent on not getting out of our keepers way and the shot came in, hitting the outside of post and going harmlessly wide.
I can’t quite honestly remember the second goal but it was definitely Aidan that scored it so here’s how it ran in my head. Aidan who had just beat his forth man after an amazing run flashed into the box leaving a trail of smoke and defenders behind him, rounded the keeper just by looking at him, stopped the ball on the line flicked it up, kissed it and scorpion kicked it in off the crossbar. He ran away doing thirteen somersaults in the process to land dead on the half-way line ready for the kick off. 2-0.
Ten minutes from time and Clay replaced Mark at left back and Two Footed Daz replaced Butler on the right wing. Seeing this Dibbsy must have thought that he had been given a license to venture further up the field and with literrally minutes left on the clock and lessening all the time, he went on a heroic run making him at one time being the furthest man forward. This prompted Dave into an almighty outburst from the sidelines (and very nearly won him BONK of the match award) of ‘Who let him go up there?’ This was met with rapturous laughter from all watching as Dave calmed himself down.
Aidan completed his hat-trick from the penalty spot after a long ball from the keeper straight into the path of Colley, and instead of taking it into the corner (which would have been the wise thing to do with less than a minute on the clock) he instead ran at his defender and was brought down inside the box. Stone wall penalty. Despite shouts from other more suited players, for example our keeper, to take the kick it was left with Aidan to convert. He stuck it away in the same manor he had stuck his first away by hitting the ball into the ground sending the keeper the wrong way. 3-0 and game over.
Players worth a mention are definitely Grant who covered more distance than anyone, never giving their defence time to bring the ball out and the two Rich’s who both did a sound job playing in central defence winning everything on the ground and in the air.
BONK of the match - Dibbsy - I’ve always maintained that the BONK award can given to anyone for any reason before, during or after the match. When Manager Dave was giving out our new Jackets with initials on in the pub after the game, whilst calling out ‘RD’ no-one could work out who ‘RD’ was including Richard Derbyshire who was listening and heard the shout as well as anyone else. As a new punishment for winning BONK of the match awards the allocated person must now take all the training tops home and was them as well as a new forfeit (watch this space)
**3 weeks until the really bad daytime TV star joke**