Match Report
Derby Ams (4) v Bargate Rovers (2)
| Player | Rating | ||
|---|---|---|---|
| 1 | Adam Blackburn | 8 | |
| 2 | James Derbyshire | 8 |  |
| 5 | Richard Mellon | 8 | |
| 6 | Richard Swain | 8 |  |
| 7 | Andrew Singleton | 8 |  |
| 8 | Adam Morris | 8 | |
| 11 | Grant Strickson | 8 | |
| 12 | Tom Broughton | 7 |
Date: 15/11/08
Team: 1sts
Match Type: League
Venue: Home
Opposition: Bargate Rovers
Hello sportsfans. Like the Joker is to Batman, Lex Luthor is to Superman or the Hamburgler was to Ronald Macdonald, today we were facing our greatest opponents from last season. A win today would move us above them in the league and most of all make the Dave not shout at us.
We lined up today in our now more common 4-3-3 formation. Mark at left back with Twedds at right back. Brent and Sweeper Rich started in central defence. Ady bottled it so our captain Morris was drafted into midfield alongside the Singo and Swainey. Upfront and now one of only two players to have played in every game so far this season was Kelvin. Jay and Grant were up there somewhere as well. Twedds didn’t show up so Dibbsy got the nod at right back.
We kicked off and within ten minutes we were one to the good. Kelvin had the ball and one step-over later was through on goal, he shot, deflected, the flight path of the ball was changed, the ball thundering off the under-side of the bar, landed at the feet of their defenders. At this moment I would like to tell you that Grant selflessly through himself at the defenders risking limb and injury for the good of the team to score. I would like to tell you that but I cant. Both defenders expected the other to clear, but neither did. Grant, after watching every volume of Police Academy, reading War and Piece from cover to cover and trying to explain why round pizzas come in square boxes walked over and shot into the poorly guarded goal. 1-0.
Swainey had three chances in the space of three seconds all of which were rubbish. After a clever one-two with the Singo he was through in front of goal, he shot straight at the keeper not giving him enough time to get out of the way, the ball fell at his feet and his second first time shot was blocked by a scrambling defender. The ball wiggled its way through again this time with no keeper and no defender in front of him, his shot was hurried and he blasted wide of the target at his third attempt. Basically, he couldn’t score paper!
Within another ten minutes had another one hundred percent increase in goals once again through that man Granty and this time it actually wasn’t that bad a goal. A ball to feet which Grant left and made into a through ball saw him running just wide of off centre, with his left foot he caressed the ball over the opposing keep into the top corner of the netting. With two goals in twenty minutes we all looked at each other and thought Grant was definitely on for at least no more goals. Grants game over. 2-0.
Five minutes before the half time interval, we had another goal in our locker. A corner whipped in by the man Kelvin saw the Singo jump highest and nod in putting us three to the good. He did sustain a knock in doing so but he doesn’t care cause he’s all about the team! 3-0.
Half time - we went in with our heads high and them with their tails between their legs. We listened to what the Dave had to say to us which was pretty much constructive. We had shown in the first half that we had the better of them so it was just a case of seeing the game out in comfortable style.
The second half started and we were overjoyed by the fact that we had scored thrice in the first half as we completely collapsed. It was as if someone had uttered those immortal words, I’m a Derby Ams first team player. Get me out of here. And it wasn’t long before they had reduced our lead by a third. Their left winger played a square ball across goal, their striker latched onto it, dispatching with confidence. 3-1.
Defensive frailties left Bargate with a wider grin on their faces as they had two hands clasping at out three points and after they had scored their second. Yet another pass which didn’t find its intended target was intercepted, the ball was played wide, a deep cross from one winger left their other winger with an unchallenged header just moments from the goal-line. 3-2, and we had a game on our hands.
Fortunately for every action there is an equal and opposite reaction. Germany invaded France so we kicked them all the way back to Saurkroutville, David Dickinson keeps having sunbed sessions so he’ll probably die of melanaoma. They scored a couple of goals so we scored another, and for this we had Gary, and Gary can run with a ball. He took on fifty-eight people and, since he has been working on his finishing, megged their keeper. Restoring our two goal advantage. I think Bargate need to learn don’t piss up tall trees if you don’t want to run with the big dogs! 4-2.
At the end of the day, sometimes you need to role up your sleeves and dig in which we did.
BONK of the match - James Whittaker - about twenty minutes into the first half the ball was bouncing, seemingly going out for a throw. James had other ideas. He made a dashing fifteen yard run, circumnavigated the ball so it was on his right foot, fell over and rolled out of play, the ball followed after him. A lot of effort for not a lot of reward other than the covrted BONK of the match award.
Man of the match - Richard Swain - from the centre of midfield, always found time, was spraying passes with either foot across the pitch but mainly won it for composure on the ball.