Match Report

Chellaston (6) v Derby Ams (0)

Date: 10/01/09
Team: 1sts
Match Type: League
Venue: Away
Opposition: Chellaston

Man of the Match: Grant; A goal short of the perfect 10 performance.

Most of the 7s would be 8s and the 8s in turn would be 9s had it not been for that dreadful, lacklustre last 15 minutes.
Up to that point and certainly up to the 60 minute mark we more than lived with this top side and had the better possesion.
Little Eaton at home on Saturday. You will have noticed that the league have deducted those 3 points I told you about so you all know the result and performance expected. Dave

MATCH REPORT:
Hello sportsfans. Today’s opposition were sat second in the league and as ours was the only fixture to be played on this cold winters day, if they won they could go top for a while, so we all knew it was going to be tough. On the brighter side of life they are making a Transformers 2, so it’s not all bad!

Due to lack of bottle, club captain Morris was missing so in stood sweeper Rich alongside traditional centre half Brenty. At left back we had the Mark Morison’s friend, the ‘Return of the Mark’ and at right back we had my radio is my church star Dibsy (www.dibsy.co.uk). We played with a midfield five in the shape of tiny Ady, country and western fan Sam (ask him about it), King Kelv, Derry City fan James and who could forget Unhappycamper. Upfront was Grant who has his own clan (www.clangrant.org) Kelvin obviously rising the average age of the team to above 400 years old.

I don’t want to go into too much into detail for the goals but lets say they won 6-0 and we didn’t have a shot on target. We had the majority of possession but didn’t get very far with it only carrying the ball past the midfield line on occasion and then we were forced to lump a long ball to Grant up to hold or run on to.

The first goal came as their young quick striker beat the offside trap and tried to lob our keeper. Obviously, as you all know, Butters doesn’t get lobbed, so the best he could do was collect his initial effort, which wasn’t going in, and then have enough time to convert that instead. 0-1.

Half time arrived and we were still well in the game, Aidan replaced King Kelv on the left for a more direct thinking replacement but even this bought us little joy. In his half time team talk I remember Dave mentioned how we were Lenten Roses, flowers that flourish in winter, with hard work being the root system, the foundation if you will. This determines whether we can hold our heads up high in times of turbulence or if we wobble when the going gets rough. He went onto say that the stem of the flower was togetherness. You see single we are weak but united we form a very hardy, dependable base that can dig through concrete, paving, brickwork etc. towards the sunshine that is 3 points for our efforts. Obviously Aidans boots were our multicoloured petals.

Unfortunately for us Chellaston came prepared with weed killer and the second half was dominated by them the way that Arnold Alois Schwarzenegger and Sylvester Stallone dominated action film in the late 90’s (although never actually appearing in the same film, which begs the question… would John Rambo have been able to kill the Terminator?)

The second goal came as their speedy forward ran past our defence and squared the ball to the back post were another Chello player was stood awaiting a simple tap in, which by the way, he very nearly missed! 0-2.

A free header just outside the six-yard box from a corner. Nuff said. 0-3.

Being three goals down Dave’s hand was forced to try and salvage something from the fixture so we moved to a very adventuress attack is the best form of defence to 3-2-5 with Mark being replaced by Broughton. This only spurred on the opposition and created holes at the back to which our opposition exploited.

I can’t remember. 0-4.

A one-on-one for to which this time the forward did dispatch low and hard. 0-5.

And the goal of the game, again a Chellaston player found himself through on goal, the ball sat up nicely for the forward to strike very hard into the roof of the net. 0-6.

Just a quick note. I don’t usually like to summarise the opposition as I firmly believe that if we lose it’s by our own doing BUT when the opposing centre forward should have been booked five minutes into the game for repetitive fowling and the referee doesn’t even have a word in his ear, it kinda sets the way for a physical team like Chellaston to play. He gave us no confidence in him and only on very rare occasion did he leave the centre circle. Overall rating – Poor! Rant over.

BONK of the match – it’s a rollover.

MOTM – Grant – easily our best player on the day and his best game of the campaign so far! Was isolated at times but still managed to hold the ball up effectively. Loves a pie!